Tag: New Year’s resolutions

Mental Health, New Year, productivity, Wellbeing, writing

What are your goals/ intentions as we look forward to Spring?

Anita T Kelly

Did you set any New Year’s resolutions? Planning to become a “New You” in 2023? How’s that going?

I know in recent years I’ve become less focused on New Year’s resolutions and have instead written some intentions for what I’d like to achieve this year. Rather than putting myself under pressure to lose weight or cut out sugar completely (practically impossible for someone with a sweet tooth!) I’ve tried to come up with some more realistic, self-compassionate goals.

At the beginning of the year, I decided upon my work goals for the month. To be honest, I’ve already had to adapt these, but personally here are my goals:

  1. To pace myself more, listening to my body and allowing myself more time to rest as needed.
  2. Carry on with doing at least 1 mindful practice per day (usually after lunch). I’ve discovered the Balance app which is currently free for 1 year (in February 2023) which has a wide variety of meditations and plans including ones based on different emotions and for helping get to sleep. The free UCLA mindful app is also useful for its basic mindful meditations and weekly 30 min Hammer Museum podcast. I really enjoy their body scan for sleep when I need to switch off before starting the afternoon afresh.
  3. Going to the gym at least twice per week. I’ve built up to this gradually – starting once per week then up to twice a week or 2 later. I find this can really energise me and get those feel good endorphins going too. My aim is also to lose some weight.

SMART Goals

Some people find SMART goals helpful, keeping them focused on:

S- Specific

M- Measurable

A- achievable

R- realistic

T- timebound,

but I know this may not work for everyone and maybe too much pressure. An example of a smart goal would be:

I aim to lose 5 kg over three months by going to the gym and eating healthily.

Five kg over three months sounds realistic and achievable , is set over a specific time and can be measured.

The Challenges of Winter

The winter months can be difficult for a number of reasons:

  • Less sunlight can conversely affect our mood
  • With the shorter, colder winter days, it’s harder to get outside and motivation can be less. This may result in us exercising less. This can also make it harder to get out to see friends and family
  • When we feel down/ sad it may be harder to concentrate
  • There can be a sense of anticlimax after the new year.

How can we address these problems?

Thinking about what we like about winter may help: for example my preference is for a warm drink (hot chocolate) and snuggling under blankets with a hot water bottle and candles burning nearby and ideally a fire burning brightly in the hearth.

Looking out on a sunny morning with clear blue skies or a glittering frosty moment when the world can look so beautiful.

Having a conversation with a friend or loved one- reaching out when we’re feeling low or in need of a chat.

Breaking down our intentions into smaller steps

What are the individual steps needed to achieve our goal? We may need to write these down and have them somewhere where we can see them to remind us of what our goal is and how to get there:

Using the earlier example of losing 5 kg in three months

Step 1. Weighing myself to record where I’m at now

Step 2. Making a plan of when I intend to go to the gym each week

Step 3 Thinking about the healthy meals and snacks I can eat to help my weight loss and so on…

….and finally to celebrate when I achieve my goal.

It’s good to celebrate the small wins in between e.g. losing the first kg.

Celebrating Small Wins

What is a small win? I would describe it as when progressing towards our goals, it’s important to recognise any progress along the way, no matter how small – and celebrate it! For me, making sure I stick to my work timings, particularly at the end of the day, and not going beyond these has been a small win for me. Being boundaried with my time is a helpful strategy. I know that structure also helps me stick to my plan.

Have you set yourself any intentions since the New Year? How are you progressing? Do you need to change anything to make your goal more realistic/ achievable? Are there any challenges you need to overcome or problem-solve? What are your small wins so far? And have you celebrated them?

Pop your comments in the box below – I’d love to hear how you are getting on.

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Christmas, Mental Health, New Year, Wellbeing

How to Handle feelings of Anti-climax after Christmas…

Anita T Kelly

Happy New Year! How did you find those odd days, suspended between Christmas and New Year? After a busy year, that seems so fast-paced in comparison to the last 2, nearly 3 years of Covid, Christmas arrived much sooner than expected in our household.

It’s been a blessing to finally celebrate Christmas without any Covid restrictions- but perhaps you too felt the expectations, demands even, of others, as to what Christmas arrangements would look like? We were able to have our usual turkey feast, with different family members cooking different parts of the meal and helping decorate the table but somehow it felt more of an effort, perhaps as we haven’t catered for so many for awhile.

The reality for me was real exhaustion before Christmas even started, and so trying to simplify food preparation and present buying was really important. As I read about preparing for Christmas in Rachael Newham’s book ‘And Yet’, I wanted to put Jesus’birth in the forefront of our celebrations. To keep that message of joy at the heart of our meal. However as we overran in our meal timings, the Bible verses announcing Jesus’ birth didn’t make it into the schedule. The best I had personally managed was listening to a Christmas Day Bible reading in the morning.

It can be easy to lose momentum in the anti-climax after Christmas and even into the New Year. The change in or lack of routine can cause confusion in managing the day. Having some simple structure, even waking up at the same time each day and going to bed at the same time each night helps maintain a good sleep pattern.

My quiet times in the mornings have remained a regular occurrence though, and it’s given me space to look back over the year and recognise where God’s been at work in my family’s lives and my own. There’s so much to be thankful for, despite the challenges of ill-health, near burnout and one son moving out to start his church internship. This process of reviewing the year (or past day) is known as Examen, devised by St Ignatius of Loyola. It involves recognising where God’s been working and thanking Him for it as well as the difficulties.

If you don’t have a faith, it’s still helpful to reflect back over the year that’s passed and recognise what you’re thankful for and where the challenges have been. Also, recognising what you want to leave behind in 2022 and what you’d like to do more of, are healthy behaviours to have. I know that I want to leave bitterness and resentment behind and move more into quickly forgiving and extending grace and love to all I meet.

Seeing this period as a time to rest and recuperate can keep our minds in a positive mindset and allow us to catch up on lost sleep. It’s so easy to get sucked into the busyness of seeing too many friends and family which may tire us out emotionally and physically. Or it may be the opposite, where we avoid socialising or feel isolated, in which case, reaching out to a trusted friend or calling a helpline such as the Samaritans (116 123 in the UK) may remind us that we’re not alone. Warm hubs are also available across the UK as places to visit to stay warm (if you can’t afford to put the heating on much) and meet others.

Then there are the temptations of rich or sugary food/ alcohol which can interfere with our mood, and even add to that sluggish feeling. Having a limit on how many treats we have a day (or none at all) may help. I try to remind myself of the sugar hangover I’ll get from consuming high levels of sugar. This can help me to resist sometimes.

And there’s the pressure to make New Year’s resolutions, that can do easily be abandoned within a few weeks…I prefer to do New Year’s intentions instead, which feel less forced than resolutions. If I don’t meet my weight loss goal in the next month then ok, how much closer am I to that goal? Having a bit more self-compassion and a little less stick of beating myself up if I fail.

So as we move into this new year, why not reflect back on 2022 and recognise what you’re thankful for? Then be honest with yourself about where the challenges have been. What do you want to carry forward from 2022 and what do you want to leave behind?