Tag: gratitude

Christmas, Mental Health, New Year, Wellbeing

How to Handle feelings of Anti-climax after Christmas…

Anita T Kelly

Happy New Year! How did you find those odd days, suspended between Christmas and New Year? After a busy year, that seems so fast-paced in comparison to the last 2, nearly 3 years of Covid, Christmas arrived much sooner than expected in our household.

It’s been a blessing to finally celebrate Christmas without any Covid restrictions- but perhaps you too felt the expectations, demands even, of others, as to what Christmas arrangements would look like? We were able to have our usual turkey feast, with different family members cooking different parts of the meal and helping decorate the table but somehow it felt more of an effort, perhaps as we haven’t catered for so many for awhile.

The reality for me was real exhaustion before Christmas even started, and so trying to simplify food preparation and present buying was really important. As I read about preparing for Christmas in Rachael Newham’s book ‘And Yet’, I wanted to put Jesus’birth in the forefront of our celebrations. To keep that message of joy at the heart of our meal. However as we overran in our meal timings, the Bible verses announcing Jesus’ birth didn’t make it into the schedule. The best I had personally managed was listening to a Christmas Day Bible reading in the morning.

It can be easy to lose momentum in the anti-climax after Christmas and even into the New Year. The change in or lack of routine can cause confusion in managing the day. Having some simple structure, even waking up at the same time each day and going to bed at the same time each night helps maintain a good sleep pattern.

My quiet times in the mornings have remained a regular occurrence though, and it’s given me space to look back over the year and recognise where God’s been at work in my family’s lives and my own. There’s so much to be thankful for, despite the challenges of ill-health, near burnout and one son moving out to start his church internship. This process of reviewing the year (or past day) is known as Examen, devised by St Ignatius of Loyola. It involves recognising where God’s been working and thanking Him for it as well as the difficulties.

If you don’t have a faith, it’s still helpful to reflect back over the year that’s passed and recognise what you’re thankful for and where the challenges have been. Also, recognising what you want to leave behind in 2022 and what you’d like to do more of, are healthy behaviours to have. I know that I want to leave bitterness and resentment behind and move more into quickly forgiving and extending grace and love to all I meet.

Seeing this period as a time to rest and recuperate can keep our minds in a positive mindset and allow us to catch up on lost sleep. It’s so easy to get sucked into the busyness of seeing too many friends and family which may tire us out emotionally and physically. Or it may be the opposite, where we avoid socialising or feel isolated, in which case, reaching out to a trusted friend or calling a helpline such as the Samaritans (116 123 in the UK) may remind us that we’re not alone. Warm hubs are also available across the UK as places to visit to stay warm (if you can’t afford to put the heating on much) and meet others.

Then there are the temptations of rich or sugary food/ alcohol which can interfere with our mood, and even add to that sluggish feeling. Having a limit on how many treats we have a day (or none at all) may help. I try to remind myself of the sugar hangover I’ll get from consuming high levels of sugar. This can help me to resist sometimes.

And there’s the pressure to make New Year’s resolutions, that can do easily be abandoned within a few weeks…I prefer to do New Year’s intentions instead, which feel less forced than resolutions. If I don’t meet my weight loss goal in the next month then ok, how much closer am I to that goal? Having a bit more self-compassion and a little less stick of beating myself up if I fail.

So as we move into this new year, why not reflect back on 2022 and recognise what you’re thankful for? Then be honest with yourself about where the challenges have been. What do you want to carry forward from 2022 and what do you want to leave behind?

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Book review, Christian author, writing

Book Review: God Isn’t Finished with You Yet by Catherine Campbell

Anita T Kelly

I love how Catherine brings each Bible story to life in her book. She discusses 7 different Bible characters in depth, using an almost Ignatian style, where you can imagine yourself in each scene, immersed in the sights, smells and sounds of those times, interacting with the people there. She helps you to better understand each character’s circumstances and the challenges they face.

As someone who can struggle with concentration whilst reading sometimes, I was surprised at the depth of detail she goes into as she explores how the story is relevant to us in our own individual lives. I tried to use this as a daily devotional but concluded this would work better in a group setting where there was more time to prepare and read the suggested connected Bible passages in the study questions. There would be more time to discuss the themes Catherine brings to light.

However the encouragement her writing brings, in turning around characters’ difficulties and sometimes their self-inflicted situations, is palpable. It shows how God can work through our failures and is an inspiration and hope for all of us in using these shortcomings for His glory.

This book will delight those who can identify with the difficulties each character endures Seeing the transformation of its characters to demonstrate how God moves in our broken lives. Those low times that aren’t the end of the story. It’s also for those looking for more in-depth study of the some less known characters in the Bible.

I’m grateful to SPCK who kindly allowed me to read a pre-publication of this book. This is my own honest opinion of the book.

Christmas, freedom, Mental Health, Wellbeing, writing

Merry Christmas from Flourish!

Anita T Kelly

Peace like a river.

Exhaustion like a smothering blanket

Yet there is escape,

There is freedom.

No longer weighed down

By the chains that bound me.

TRULY FREE.

Inexplicable relief & joy,

Stepping out of the shadows

Of the person that I used to be.

God, You are good.

Thank you for your healing work,

Unimaginable before

Yet here in the moment.

Though the doubt tried to divert me

From Your Truth, it hasn’t succeeded.

Even when it tries again to tie me down

I say, “No! Enough is enough!

Unafraid now to stand up to the lies.

They fall like tin soldiers,

Rat-tat-tatting to the ground.

There is space,

A place again to breathe.

No more critical inner voice to pull me down.

Freedom. Peace. Time to be ME.

No more put downs

Just a stronger inner voice

That speaks in a calm, clear voice :

“No more, no more punishment.

Peace on Earth, mercy mild.”

The Good News brought to us by the Jesus Child.

So many years trying to fathom it all out

Yet there it is before me,

Within my reach,

Mysterious yet profound.

Copyright © AT Kelly 2020

I just wanted to end the year by sending you my new poem , partly on a Christmas theme. It’s been such an odd year, no one could have predicted what was to come.

But I’d like to wish you all a wonderful Christmas, whatever that looks like for you. I pray you’ll be able to take the day as it comes and remember the good things, no matter how small and simple they are.

I look forward to greeting you again in the New Year, and just wanted to make you aware that I’ll be running an online Winter Wellness workshop on Thursday 21 January in the evening. Please email info@flourishwell.org to register your interest. More details to follow…

Mental Health

How journalling helps you to recognise and manage your emotions

Anita T Kelly

I know it’s been a bit quiet from me recently on the blog front. The beginning of lockdown was quite easy to manage but the past two months or so my mood dipped. I’ve been trying to focus on improving my wellbeing, including facing how I’m really feeling by journalling. For a while I found myself not really wanting to address how I felt and so stopped writing my ‘morning pages.’ These are the equivalent of writing a journal, although somewhat longer (prescribed as 3 pages per day.) See Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way, for more details.

Instead, I’m now writing a few lines (sometimes more) when I wake up to summarise how I’m feeling. I might add in what’s really helped ( a high point) or emotions I’ve really been wrestling with. It helps me to make sense of where I am emotionally but also may help me to gain some fresh perspective or problem solve about how to move forward. James Pennebaker is a social psychologist who’s done extensive research into the power of expressing emotions, either verbally or in writing and how this can enable emotional, as well as, physical recovery from illness. More about his research and its health benefits are discussed further in the Writing for Recovery training workshops I lead. Click here to contact me to find out more about the workshop or to make a booking.

Gratitude is another kind of journalling that focuses on what you are thankful for each day. When I first heard about this, the advice was to think of 3 things that you’re thankful for just before going to bed. That way you go to sleep in a contented frame of mind. Current advice during lockdown is to write 5 or 10 things to say thank you for, and as a Christian I tend to frame it as “Thank you God for….” but you can also put it as “I am thankful for…”. To be honest, appreciating 5 things from my day is usually enough for me. A friend of mine had said that keeping a gratitude journal has really helped her to keep her mood on an even keel throughout lockdown.

How about having a go at journalling for yourself? All you need is a notepad/ Pc/ mobile and pen to get started: try writing one word to describe how you currently feel. What’s contributed to you feeling that way?

As you start to write, the words may just start to flow and you find yourself getting a few paragraphs down without thinking too much about it. Even if you recognise the emotion you’re currently feeling, that’s encouraging self-awareness and can lead to further reflection about why later on.

I’d love to hear how you get on, so please add a comment below or email me.